Wow, that's alot to do in a weekend. LOL. I wish I could say I accomplished that much this weekend.

Don't get down. Sometimes we just want more out of life even though we are grateful and satisfied with all of the things we already have.

Hon-
This is your diary to write things that you feel, or want to say. Don't EVER feel that you need to explain yourself.

Big kudos for being honest with yourself though. I secretly wanted my ex back for 2 years, sometimes I still do. And you are so right... sometimes guys just aren't attracted to you. It's just the way it is. It's not like you're attracted to every guy either. And yes it sucks, but life goes on.

Much Love,
K

Dear, with all due respect. My comment was not a plug to my diary but I wanted to cover myself in the event that you went ballistic about whatever I would have to write (I still don't know what I would write because I don't have all the info).

Check my diary, the number of entries and the number of clicks. I have less than 100 entries and +41000 clicks...not plug needed kid...

Still, if in 10 years you couldn't get back to that guy, and considering you are not getting any younger...wouldn't you say is time to quit that dream?

Still, I need more info to make a proper entry.

Mark.

Hi. My name is Mark Lenahan and I am a writer here at MDD.

I have been following your diary for a while. I like your "clear and cut to the chase style". As a guy, I can tell you what happened with your last date:

All that "I will show you this" or "next week we may do that" followed by "I'll call you" is textbook for guys who are not interested but don't want to be rude about it. Nobody uses this terms on first dates.

Now the fact that you have been dating for 8 years and got nothing about it clearly states that the problem is on your side.

If you don't mind, I would like to take a shot and feature you in my diary. I would like to write about you and your conundrum.

If you agree, I would first like to ask you some questions to set the background and better understand your problem. Those are simple questions such as your age (age range is ok) and the such. Also, I would like to ask you questions about your recent dates such as whether the guy mentioned sex, or certain specific questions he may ask you.

Then I can compose my writing and I can pretty much assure you a 80% accuracy in what your problem is. I am sure that will help you to find out why you are failing at relationships.

HOWEVER, I must warn you: I am a tough writer. I don't use sweet words or anything like that and my language is quite offensive. If you are in a very sensitive spot it may be better for you to keep living in dreamland.

I can promise you reality and a direction. But reality often hurts.

So, if you agree, leave a comment in my diary granting me permission to feature you and I will send you back my set of questions.

Best wishes,

Mark.

PS: If you are sensitive and can't handle "ugly truth" you may want to check with other diarists before you agree to this offer. I AM a tough writer.

OMG! I totally know how you feel! I'm kind of going through the same thing with Tim even though things look like they are progressing nicely. Some guys are just really confusing. Don't be too pushy though... that will scare them away for sure.

Good Luck!

I used to write here many years ago and a dear friend used this name. I was wondering if it was possible you were that dear friend.

Does the name Vicarious mean anything to you?

I love the way you write... so precise and to the point. I understand how you feel, the guy was an a**h*** but, unfortunatly, he does incompass the majority. I agree we're a society based on looks (judging books by there cover)... it's a shame. I fight the same fight everyday... sometimes it's easy to 'shake it off' other times not so. Please don't let him -or them- effect you. I admire your self-esteem and self-love.... Persevere, I know you can. 

i know how you feel! unfirtunately that's how the world operates. the way you look affects how people treat you! the outside is the very first impresion people have of you! and yes that SUCKS! keep it p girl! loose weigh but do it for you not for all the other people... you will feel better you'll have more confidence! I am 23 and I used to have an acne proble since I was 19... this year because I got a good job i was able to start going to the dermatologist and believe or not it help me a LOT i get more guys to talk to me i get asked out more often... (yeah i get hurt too). I am a pretty confident person but i have always been a little shy but NOW I am the one saying hi and taking the initiative I am even MORE confident on myself....

The TRUTH sucks... but looks DO matter!

  So glad that you are able to leave things in God's hands...that is such a powerful lesson for us all!

   Best wishes with the dating and the job!

 Have a Blessed day!,

       Jewel

LOL congrats on the new apartment!!! Glad you like your new sofa

Just saying!
-Meggie T.

I wouldn't worry mate, my life much better, all the excitment i get it fantasising about random men every now and again!!

xxxxxxxxxxx

  So glad that things are looking good for you! Best wishes with your diet! Bets wishes with your job!

 Have a Blessed Night,

       Jewel

Great Question!  One that we should all ask ourselves. Best wishes with your dreams!

Did you hear the buzz on MDD? Autmn012 has her diary deleted! BY MDD!! Sign hcutting's petition. Thank you for your time to help out Autmn.

                           - girlpowermusic3698

   I don't blame you for not allowing your mom to put their house in your name..It looks like that would make it hard for you to rent or buy.

   I'm glad to read that you've been doing fine and will be starting classes...You should be very proud of yourself. 

    I hope that you enjoyed your day off.

   Have a Blessed day!,

      Jewel

Best wishes with the program and your career!

Hugs and Best Wishes!

  Have a blessed Thanksgiving!,

         Jewel

May God hear and bless your prayers..I'm so sorry John put you through that!  Remember that you are a blessing to all that you meet!

   Hope that you day gets better.

  Heart Hugs,

    Jewel

   I'm sorry that your feelings were hurt.  Mine would have been too.  Noone likes to hear those types of things.

   Is he still with his wife?

   Have you spoken to him about how it hurt you?

   I hope that your day gets brighter.

  Major heart Hugs!,

      Jewel

    Congrats on losing the body fat! You must have worked hard. YAY You!

    That was so thoughtful of you to be there for John.

   I hope that you have a blessed night,

               Jewel

   Sorry for your tears...Best wishes with your goals and getting over him.  I hope that you find what makes you happy.

  Have a blessed day,

      Jewel

Bets wishes with the guy!  Congrats on the work outs...You should be proud of your motivation.

  Wishing you a Blessed weekend,

         Jewel

   Your job sounds so interesting!  Thank you for taking the time to answer my question.

   Wishing you the best of days!,

              Jewel

  I think that you set good and healthy boundaries...I'm glad to see someone doing that.  Our hearts are so valuable , we need to protect and honor them.

   I think it's great that you are so dedicated to having the right career for you... I was wondering what you do? 

   Wishing you the best of days,

         Jewel

  EnJOY your coffee,your day off, and your book...Are you writing one or reading one?

  Wishing you the best of days,

        Jewel

   I hope that you had a good birthday! I'm glad that they rememered! 

   Best wishes with the job seacrh!

   Wishing you the best,

       Jewel

  Glad that you love yourself and like yourself..It saddens me that so many don't.  the man that loves you and that is worthy of YOUR love will see past your jean size!

   Wishing you a good day,

         Jewel

  You have a wonderful writing style..Liked the paragraph about Match. How true.

    Hope that you have a blessed day!,

         Jewel

sorry your friends cancelled on you.

 Hi  I'm new to reading your diary.  I too am dealing with uncertainty abotu what to do wiht my future. I'm also dealing with weight issues. I look forward to reading more and to getting to know you better.

   Have a Blessed Day!,

          Jewel

Mmmm, I have that feeling after watching movies sometimes too.  I watch a movie with a romance in it, for instance, and I feel jealous.  Jealous of fictional characters doesn't make a lot of logical sense in the long run, but still, it makes me distinctly aware of the gaping hole in my life that's reserved for the opposite sex.  I would venture to guess that the reaction--to feel stagnancy after even seemingly lighthearted movies--is normal.

That's what I tell myself to fall asleep at night, anyway. --Avi

I am glad you had a good day : ) I am jealouse that you can tan though ; ) All I do is burn lol. Have a great Tuesday!

~Lidua

I know what you mean about not wanting material 'things'! i am exactly the same way, I won't care about what I own, as long as I am just comfortable enough, but ofcourse I'd love to experience lots of things which won't come without money... including traveling, dance and music lessons, and other stuff!

Good luck earning the money

YOU WILL GET STRONGER AND IT WILL GET ESSAYER FOR YOU.

HOPE YOU HAVE FUN DOING THE CLASS, AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE WATTER BREAKS. SOON YOU WON'T NEED THEM.

There's nothing wrong with starting over.š It would be worse to finish the whole program and THEN have to start over.š Your instincts are telling you are unhappy.š Listen to them.

Not sure what your conclusion was on this little adventure, but if you are still thinking about teaching english in china, check out this blog:

http://huzzlecoo.seattleblogs.org/

oh come on...i can't say i understand what you're feeling becaus i haven't been through that..well, not really...but anyway, i guess your family is just growing a little too fast and thinking it's a childish thing now. But Hey, come on open up to them, tell them what you want for heaven's sake it's christmas, tell them, they are your family for god's sake, they aren;t going to push you back, and it they do, SCREW THEM!

TellMeAStory

note: we'll all be here for you on christmas in MyDearDiary!

Well first of all, you can save a lot of time transferring your paper around.

1) Email it to yourself and transfer it that way

2) Buy a USB hardrive, I'm not sure about the prices but it's a lot easier than using CD's to carry things around. Also, if you decide to get one of these it's a lot more viable to get one without software so you can plug it into any terminal and your on your way.

Also, anti-virus, Windows, or any other protection-like software you have installed WILL occasionally prompt you to download an update. There is no way around this that I know of, unless you take it off completely, which of course I don't advise:)

Happy computing.

Hi, well if the actitute your showing to the filipino guy is good then i can say you can have something..mmm...i think there0s someting there anyway.hehehe, i live in mexico and i've never meet a filipino in my life but people here is more..touchable(weird and unconfortable many times) so good luck and try to have fun.

Freshblood*

it will be interesting to see!

Wooow you sound like one bussy woman,what do you do exsacly?

You seem to have to do all sorth of things and yet you ave it all done... anyway i wish to know a bit more about you

Freshblood*

stupid ohio!!! i miss ya! i have no one to go to shows with..oh, wait..no shows come here forgot about that! =(

=)n

Sorry, the moment you mentioned a new laptop I switched off. Here I am, typing on my old clunky machine that I doubt can even be called a laptop anymore....wish I had a couple of thousand to spend on a new one.

welcome to the dark side my friend.

there's no turning back now.

let me know if you need to get hooked up with any HTML..but I do reccomend Thomas's MySpace editor if you don't want to work out the HTML yourself. Don't laugh. I give you less than a week before you start tricking out your page.

Mwwahhahhaahaaha!

- n

[]

f***ing A!

You wrote so well really expressed your feelings, i got excited for you, felt i was with you.
Ahhh, to be on cloud 9
x

Congrats...again!!! You soooo rock! =) n

Karina,

Every career has its good and bad.  You just have to weigh the costs and benefits and decide whether or not it's worth it.  But... you have to at least try it out before you can know for sure.  As for this idea that once you take one path, you're stuck on it--you have a very long life ahead of you.  You could probably change careers 5 times and still have time leftover for retirement. 

Emily

"And all I need to know is that I'm something you'll be missing."

You're So Last Summer - Taking Back Sunday

you never cease to impress me... 

-emily

you didn't call me! i would have talked=(

~n

YOU KNOW i hear what you're saying...*smile* at least you're yummy =)

~n